Sunday, November 11, 2012

Henry Ate Ants

The other day my husband said, "When Henry said he ate ants, I think he meant he ATE ANTS." "What?!? Why would he do that?" "I have no idea." "Henry, did you eat ants?" "Yeah!" "Henry, we don't eat ants."

This is a conversation I never hoped to have. I must confess that I ALWAYS imagined tea parties, and ruffled pink dresses, and, later, shopping, lunching, girl talk, slumber parties with pillow fights. Not to say my boys don't wear pearls, my heels, try on lip gloss and carry an old purse, but it's short-lived, and there are more bugs, snakes, and dinosaurs than baby dolls, playing house and hairstyling.

I don't want to generalize gender. But my boys are all boy in the traditional sense. I hope I am instilling in them a knowledge that I will accept, love and support them no matter what lifestyle, college, partner, or career they choose.

A daughter. I wanted what my mom had with my sister and me. I figured we would have a girl and a boy and the girl would be mine and the boy would be Hank's. Even when we had Rose and Sam, though, Rose was fiercely in love with Hank and Sam always called for Mommy. It just goes to show you can't plan your kids lives for them.

Still, when Henry ate ants I realized that tea parties were not in my future and I had to make peace with that.

To this day I cannot say that I absolutely believe our family is complete. But when I think about having another baby, my stomach clenches, and my maternal feelings for darling, tiny babies melt away when I think that after baby comes toddler. And the terrible twos, which, although Henry turned three on Saturday, are still going strong for him and starting with Sam.

However, what I lack in tea parties, I more than make up for in tee ball, balloon wars, and dinosaur facts. I love reading to them, and getting them up in the morning, cheerful and ready to attack the day. They love swimming, making loud noises, and playing hide and seek (although they are really bad at hiding)